Clumsy & Frustrations...

Some days are worse then others…and I only have myself to blame…most of the time at least..sigh….I feel like these last few weeks have been worse. I don’t know if I’m just not paying attention or what the deal is, but it has made me more acutely aware of my limitations…Just the other day I was bouncing a little ball that was Parker's and catching it…I was doing pretty good, and then all of a sudden, I was able to realize the ball bouncing, but not in my view of sight..I knew it was bouncing on the ground but it was in that area that I can’t see..It was a surreal feeling of knowing something is there and what it is doing, but not seeing it, until it reached the height to where I could see it…Then there’s the cabinet doors I leave open, and then consequently run into them a minute later, the dishwasher, toys, the girls, Chris…lately I’m always running into something.

Then there’s the other issue that is slowly hitting home of my new reality. I so want the girls to obviously live normal lives. I want them to be able to participate in extra activities, and Parker is getting to that age of finally being able to! It has been an eye opening experience to try and schedule these activities, and not being able to participate in the getting her to and from discussions, except for to arrange it. Then it is also hitting home that I can’t go and watch her participate because on top of it all, I’m still a working mom, and right now these activities are during the day. Chris, my mom and friends have graciously stepped in for my inability to help, and for that I am so grateful, but I’m also sad. I want to be that mom who get’s to drive her kids all over god’s green earth and be active and supportive.

Parker’s been in swimming lessons this summer and I have yet to see her do this. On the bright side, We are going to do a few private lessons in the evening so I will get to walk her to those and I’ll stick around and capture it on camera! I’ve got Parker enrolled for dance lessons this fall, and my mom has planned to pick her up from daycare to take her, and another mom has generously offered to take her back. It’s only 2 activities so far, and this is how I’m feeling. I know as the years go by it will get easier because it is what it is and I’ll be used to it....or maybe harder…I don’t know.